Reporting or Making the News?

It’s a good thing a lot of citizens don’t come into our newsroom every day… because if they did, they’d see this written on the assignments board.
For the record.. I am not a fair fondler! Heck, I’m not even fond of most fairs.
We got a kick out of this at work so I thought I’d share it with all of you.
You can look, but don’t touch! LOL.
Ok, was it reallllllllllyyyyyyy necessary to include my name in this photo??? Does this mean you are the fair fondler W/TRISH???? Geez!!!! BTW, there also appeared to be a phone number below my name, is this the number that concerned citizens should use when calling police???? LOL!!!!
NO TOUCHING THE HANDSOME HUNK TV REPORTER THAT DON’T SOUNDS LIKE ANY FUN…… HA HA HA
Is “fair” a noun or an adverb?
You can always wear a wig on set
DO IT!